My husband called today and asked if he could drop by to see me and talk about stuff. I don’t have a lot of work, so I told him sure.

He says he’s going to turn himself in to the probation office. He’s had a warrant for his arrest for some time now, so who knows what is going to happen…if he’ll really turn himself in, or what will happen if he does.

For this moment, I am ok with whatever happens. I am trying not to invest too much of myself in his latest story, as I’ve gotten myself all worked…

In the original (non-Disney) version of Cinderella, the evil stepsisters, unable to fit their large feet into Cinderella’s tiny glass slipper, cut off their toes. I always wondered what they were thinking. Of all the places to try to hide a bloody foot, a clear glass slipper isn’t exactly the best spot. Yet, they are so desperate to be the woman the prince wants that they are willing to grotesquely hack off body parts to do it.

The action is so horrific, it seems unthinkably insane, and yet today, I was thinking that it’s exactly what I’ve done and expected others…

“Being a sponsor has been an important part of my recovery from growing up with alcoholism. In fact, as a sponsor I never give as much as I get…When I have the privilege of hearing the secret of a sponsee expected to carry in silence for a lifetime, I am reminded of how relieved I was to finally lay down the burden of my secrets with my sponsor…In becoming a sponsor, I cultivate a listening heart for others as well as for myself.”..Hope for Today – August 23.

There are no musts in Al-Anon, except the purpose states that you are…

AlterNet reviews the prospects for drug policy reform under Obama.

AlterNet has an article on harm reduction in Vancouver.
Vancouver has essentially become a gigantic field test, a 2 million-person laboratory for a set of tactics derived from a school of thought known as “harm reduction.” It’s based on a simple premise: No matter how many scare tactics are tried, laws passed or punishments imposed, people are going to get high. From winemaking monks to coca-leaf-chewing Bolivian peasants to peyote-chomping Navajos to caffeine-fueled office workers to the junkies of Vansterdam, human beings have never been willing to settle for our inherently limited palette of states of consciousness.

If you accept the notion that…

How do you know when you’re doing the best that you can?

I don’t know why, but I’m finding lately that I doubt myself on this quite a bit. I mean, on the one hand, I think that I’m doing the best that I can given my situation right now. But there’s always this voice, which sounds suspicously like my mother, in the back of my mind telling me that there’s really nothing wrong with me and I’m just lazy.

Probably I should just ignore that voice, but it’s difficult to do at times. I had the kind of mom and dad…

I’ve had two days that were pretty awful in a row, and neither of them had anything to do with my husband! I’m somehow excited about it. Yesterday, I found out that a major system in my house is failing, and I’m going to have to come up with several thousand dollars to replace it. Today, I took my dog to the vet, and she lost her mind and bit the veterinarian and me.

Living with addiction has certainly given me an interesting perspective on bad thing in my life. These bad things are MY bad things. I didn’t necessarily create…

A while ago I wrote a post about my two co-workers at The Second Road who were going through some very rough times.  Both of their sisters were battling metastatic breast cancer.  Beth, our development director, has been spending the last couple of months taking care of her sister, her 7 year old nephew and 10 year old niece, and re-scheduling her entire life to be available to attend to her sister during this horrific period of transition.  Melissa, our Executive Director, has been going back and forth to New York for the last several months, trying to manage her…

Its problems are different, but every bit as dysfunctional as the treatment system in the U.S..

Too many highlights to quote, just read the whole thing here.

Previous comments on the subject here.

If anyone doubts the power of culture on problem drinking, I give you Wisconsin.

A meeting topic this week focused on guilt. It seems to be something that rises up for various reasons and can drag us down if we let it. Guilt is defined as having remorse for having done something wrong. What is important is to decide to forgive ourselves by letting go of what others have done to us. Forgiveness is where healing occurs.

I know that it’s easy to slip into the feelings of guilt. But guilt is like almost all feelings, best just felt and let go. The danger for me comes when guilt turns into shame, the feeling that…

Most posts on this blog are topic specific, but this is an open thread. What do you want to talk about? Feel free to use the comments to post whatever thoughts you’ve got.

Just a reminder that Ginger Bauler is joining us at 8:30pm EST TONIGHT!

We are meeting in the chat rooms to talk about recovery, for about an hour.

Come meet people in your community!

Some readers might want to pass this along, or post it elsewhere.  Feel free.

Social occasions that involve people in recovery — especially early recovery — can pose some perplexing problems for the hosts. On one hand, a host who is aware of a guest’s need to avoid mood-altering substances may wish to do what is possible to keep from exposing them to temptation. On the other hand, social drinking is a part of everyday American culture. Most social gatherings involve some drinking by some of the guests. A host may be at a loss as to how she ought to…

Martin Nicolaus caught my attention a month ago when he  made some bold statements about the genetics of addiction:

Modern genetic research has wiped away any basis for the idea that alcoholism is a genetically transmitted disease.  The most that can be said is that some people appear to inherit a lower responsiveness to alcohol, so that if they drink, they must drink more to get the same high.
…
Much of the myth of genetic causality rests on twin studies.[emphasis mine]

A recent commentary in Addiction wrestles with the elusiveness of easy genetic causality but doesn’t throw the baby out with the bath water, explaining the…

I was recently working with my online step group on Step 8 of the 12 Steps. This is the one where we make a list of people we’ve harmed and become willing to make amends with them. One of the exercises we completed asked us to name the person we’d harmed the most and think about how we were going to make amends.

So, I looked over my list and thought about all the people I’d hurt most in my life. Should my parents be at the top? They’re the ones who have known me and put up with me the…

Step 7: Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings

I’ve been going through the process of working the 12 Steps around my own personal craziness, and last week, I reached the point where I was supposed to humbly ask God to remove my shortcomings. Whew! That has so many problematic words in it. I mean even if we forget about “shortcomings” (because, let’s face it, don’t most of us want to keep on keeping on with the ignoring in that department?), we have words like “God” and “ask” and “remove” and (trickiest of all) “humbly.”

I don’t know about you, but I…

things have been particularly rough the last few days. perhaps it’s due to my current financial stresses, the process of looking for a part-time PT job, the uncertainty of potentially leaving the disability ranks, or simply a “flare-up” of good ‘ole depression. whatever the reason, I’ve been struggling.

as sometimes happens during these times of struggle, my brain seems to take on it’s own persona. unfortunately, it is an unkind, negative, intrusively hyperactive persona which results in unkind, negative, intrusive thoughts filling my head. out of the blue, these thoughts attack. death, blood, and relapse are just a few of the…

The heroin/methadone death match continues. Pretty troubling, of accurate.

Remember, DeVlaming is a methadone advocate. I like his use of quotation marks around the word treatment in reference to the heroin maintenance approach.

We are quickly approaching the holidays, which can be an intense time for those of us in recovery.  From Thanksgiving to New Years, the holidays are loaded with triggers.  Living sober day to day presents ample challenges as is, but the holidays also re-introduce memories, family situations, extra demands and difficult situations.

Instead of the season becoming a reason to relapse, try to relate the significance of each holiday to your recovery while taking the necessary precautions to retain your sobriety.

Think about some of the steps listed below, utilize the ones you need as tools, and please, share your own suggestions…